Help me out, folks. Is there a knitty.com equivalent for sewing? I have a modest stack of fabric that I would love to turn into fugly objets d'art, but I have no patterns. And no desire to buy patterns. Do you see my dilemma? I know Craftster is a pretty good resource for ideas, but there's very little in the way of instructions. And I know sewing patterns require ginormous cut-out templates, and are thus not printer-friendly. I checked some pattern books out of the library, but they are very light on patterns. So I'm convinced that there's a vigorous online sewing community that is just invisible to me. So does anyone know? Does sewwy.com exist? OK, it does. But it's not what I had in mind. Ugh. I wanna make something like this sew bad. I mean, sooooo bad. Update: What the Craft has some good tutorials - I may just try to resize a T-shirt this aftenroon. Now if only I had a serger...

I know you've seen those commercials for KFC's Famous Bowls. You know, a slop of mashed potatoes, corn, chicken bits, gravy, and cheese? That concoction will ne'er pass my lips, but luckily there is at least one intrepid journalist willing to put his life on the line to taste-test the bowl (via Slashfood, my favorite!). I know, it's an annoying link because you have to log in to the LA times website, but the review is well worth the trouble (and this is why bugmenot was invented). Gah. Horrors. "It's like throwing up in reverse." Bon appetit.

By now we've all heard about the new Samuel L. Jackson movie. You know, the one with snakes? And a plane? Oh ho, you haven't? Well, read up and come back. Got it? OK, so this movie has some serious juujuu associated with it - it apparently has the power to get you out of traffic tickets. So I've been mulling over some alternate titles for this movie. The title, after all, is where it's at. Since they DID change the title at one point (until SLJ made them change it back), I'm of course curious about what it might have been. CobraAir Flying Serpents of Doom Slithereens Not Another Teen Movie with Snakes and Air Travel First Classssssss Chicken, Fish, or Snake? Upfright Position Black Mamba Down Asp Air Welcome A-Boa-rd Pet Jet Hissy Fit Flight of Fangs Carrion Luggage Have Snake, Will Travel Cobra Coach Fusilage of Fear Buh-bye OK, perhaps Snakes on a Plane really was the best choice after all. Who knew?

I think the heat is getting to me, because all of a sudden I'm planning this year's stocking stuffers. Already. Maybe I'm just deep in lustful anticipation of cooler weather. It's been hot in Seattle, by Seattle standards, but I just got back from southern California, where it is hot, by HELL standards. You know it's hot when you hop back into the car after an early showing of Pirates of the Caribbean and the car thermometer reads 123 degrees. Noooo! But it's a dry heat, at least, so your skin ends up crispy, not soggy and braised. And who doesn't like nice crisp skin? All I can say is that I'm identifying strongly with Crazy Aunt Purl's posts this week. Bring on the sweet tea, girlfriend! OK. Other than the heat, SoCal was nice. Behold, the lovely Getty Center. I got culture-fied.

It's.... soup or salad? Now this is an interesting gimmick - Dinner in the Sky (via Slashfood). Imagine eating dinner with 22 of your closest friends at a table suspended 50 meters in the air. There's a plexiglas canopy suspended over the table - I presume to prevent birds from adding additional "seasoning" to the food. But if you drop your napkin, you're SOL. You have to check out the video to really grasp the experience - even at an elegant dinner in the sky, there will always be some jackass yakking on his cellphone during the oyster course.

I'm not fishing for compliments, but I'm starting to think that this blog sucks. I just can't get into the whole inappropriate self-disclosure thing like some people (which I love to read, just like you!). And my knitting isn't that interesting. And I'm darn sure y'all don't want to read lengthy posts about smokeless tobacco, which is taking up 80% of my brain real estate right now. So good thing there are other people out there who write blog posts worth reading. Thank Jeebus for that.

It would be a sin not to visit a museum or two while in D.C., so I checked out the new National Museum of the American Indian. I think it's a great addition to the other Smithsonian museums on the Mall - it houses lots of great artifacts as well as learning exbihits on modern American Indian life and culture. I hope everyone who visits takes away some morsel of new understanding and interest. And of course, it's all housed in a lovely new building. Hmm. That picture would look better without the tourists. That's better.

Just got back from a little travelin' to our nation's capital. So here's some pictures, although they don't convey the heat and humidity. First, the view of Thomas Square from my hotel room. Evidently Seattle isn't the only city eternally under construction. Each morning I walked about 6 blocks to the DC Convention Center, pictured here: It's the fancy building on the right, not the shooting gallery on the left. I know you can't read the graffiti on the wall, so I'll help you out. It says, "Your dead". Which do I find more disturbing, the blatant threat, or the poor grammar? Let's go with the former. Really, I had a great time in DC! They have so many fabulous things to delight and amuse, including many varieties of squirrels! There's the black and skittish (therefore difficult to photograph): And the white and aggressive (therefore easier to photograph): And yes, I was scared this little guy was going to jump off the branch and straight into my hair. We screeched at each other for a while, and then called a wary truce. More to come...

Last week I went to lunch with the girls at the Grand Central Bakery Cafe on Eastlake, and I had the most delectable cream of mushroom soup. And, lucky for me, the recipe is available here. So, so good. And so very far removed from the gelatinous white shivering mass that glops out of the Campbell's soup can. The only problem is that this soup begs to be mopped up with crusty bread, and followed with a fabulous cookie. I mean, you've already done enough damage with the buttery soup, what's a few pounds of bread and cookie really going to matter?