This used to be a good neighborhood. A nice place to raise a little plant, a place to really put down roots. Until one day a few months ago, this shady character showed up, pushing smack. "MG", they called it, or "Special Gro". All I knew is that once my sweet, innocent plants started doing Miracle Gro, things have never been the same.
At first, the changes were subtle.
Then, not so subtle.
Peer pressure to be "huge", "ripped", and "vigorous" was hard to resist, as one by one, my petunias and sweet peas started succumbing to that sweet blue fluid. Now they're begging me to pour it in their soil at all hours, even trying to convince me that one tablespoon per gallon of water is "whack, man!" The hardest hit were the nasturtium and violas planted in the hanging basket.
I had heard somewhere that nasturtium are hard to transplant, so I foolishly upped their dose of Special Gro,
Now I'm afraid to go on the deck. I've got to find some sort of treatment program for them - every time I try to fool them with plain water, they let it drool right out their drainage holes, threatening to wilt and die unless they get their fix. And I bend. Lordy, do I bend. I just opened the door to the deck, and they all turned to face me - their meaty green leaves and massive colorful flowers beckoning in unison. I can almost hear their little voices...
bring us our Gro, beeeeeatch!
