OK, I’ve been away for a few months. So what?
I’ve been ready to come back to the blog for a while now, but as the time since my last post got longer, I was intimidated by the pressure of writing an “I’m baaaack!” post. It should be glitzy, or full of content and pictures - heaven knows the one thing a baby generates is gigapictures. I spent a few minutes over a few weeks plotting my comeback, only to realize that the fabulous re-entry post wasn’t going to happen. Pre-baby perfectionist me would have had a problem with that. Post-baby me just shrugs and rolls with it. So here we go.
Hiya, loyal readers! I’m posting again (or at least today). I had my sweet baby in April, and it’s been a wild, lovely ride. Things I’ve learned:
1. The 5-1-1 rule is bunk. All you moms out there know what I’m talking about. The birthing unit at the hospital doesn’t want to see your sweaty, pain-pinched face until your contractions have been 5 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute for at least an hour. I called the on-call OB when my contractions were 8 minutes apart, lasting 2-3 minutes, for God-knows-how-long. I was told to take Tylenol and wait until “real” labor started. Finally I said (yelled) “screw it!” and we went to the hospital. Guess who was 6 centimeters dilated?
2. I need a lot less sleep than I thought! I would have finished my dissertation in 3 years if I knew I could survive on 3-4 hours per day! Wait, does completing a dissertation require more brain power than remembering to remove underpants before entering the shower? Actually, that’s a good way to get a little laundry done at the same time.
3. My baby is the smartest because she can sleep ALL NIGHT LONG! Yessirree, she sleeps from 9 pm to 6 am (give or take) every night. I know by typing this I’m digging my own karma grave. She’ll wake up tomorrow morning at 2:30 am, and scream “sleeping is for nerds!” No, of course she doesn’t talk yet, but at 2:30 I would be hallucinating anyway.
4. Cloth diapers are totally doable. Although the experience of washing them is… um… horrible.
5. Daycare is a nightmare. In Seattle, there are a fair number of lovely, accredited childcare centers that would be happy to care for my little girl for the modest sum of over half my salary if I had had the foresight to join the waiting list two years ago for the low, low nonrefundable waiting list charge of $100. WTF? Two years ago, I might have joined the waiting list at the University, which is (get ready) over one thousand children long! I write this less to complain, and more to warn other Seattleites who may be reading and gestating as we speak. Or planning to gestate in two years.
6. Another memo I didn’t get - if you lift your baby “wrong”, you can get DeQuervain’s tendonitis, which sucks and can require physical therapy or surgery.
7. Nothing is cuddlier than a sleepy baby, and figuring out what is upsetting my girl and fixing it is a great way to feel like a superhero.
8. Sometimes babies are born bald. Sometimes babies are born with hair. And sometimes babies are born with a little ring of hair that makes them look like Friar Tuck.
9. And oh yeah, onesies are cute.
I hope I can continue to post at least every few days, I’ve been learning so much from the Internet that it seems dumb not to give a little back.